it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
