yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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