I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
