Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
