I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
