just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
