So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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