Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
