how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize