where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
