i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
