I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
