I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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