I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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