In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize