Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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