C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
