yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
