just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
