i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
