Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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