Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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