thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you will always have a special place in my vag
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
