OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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