I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Found your dick twin last night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
