hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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