We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
barbara walters just said penis...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hippo gnu deer
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
