What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
