does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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