My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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