He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize