i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
