I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
