At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
