Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Congratulations! We have a period
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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