Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
