Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
