Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
only you would photoshop your dick
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
