just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
