What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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