i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
