Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize