I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
