It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
two words: eviction party
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize