They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I want her autograph on my taint
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
