Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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