I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
