This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
