It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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