I need help removing her.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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