need another drink. this is the easiest way
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize