I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
