I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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