There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
