i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Ladies don't puke and tell
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
