You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
