Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
