I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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