You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
