she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
and she was petting her beer can
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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