this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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