i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
