It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
