It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
