I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
