when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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