You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
