I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And then my night got REAL pukey
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
