Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
